The Making of..."Tristesse" and "Please Love Responsibly"

Hi.
Well I'm pretty under the weather for this week's entry. I've noticed that ever since I was a kid, I'd become a lot more sensitive and emotional when being sick. Maybe it's the fever or the feeling of helplessness. I shouldn't be admitting this, but when I was like 8 years old, I rented the 80's movie called "Labyrinth". (That's not the sad part) By the end of the film, I was crying. Now I don't remember the plot too well, and I'm sure it had at least a couple of touching scenes, but why the hell was 8 year-old me crying about besides being a wuss? Well, later that night I developed one of the worst fevers I've had to date. It was awful. But I remember feeling relieved as to why I was so sad over seemingly nothing. I've always been a terrible sick patient. I was then. I was when I broke my ankle. I was when I got a stomach virus in Pittsburgh in 2007. I was last year in Anaheim on the last day of my trip when the sun got the best of me. And I am now.

Today I feel a bit more emotional because of feeling sick. It's probably throat related. Luckily, sensitivity has led to good writing from experience. So we begin with...Tristesse?!?! Have I gone French? This is the French word for melancholy. And the way I ended up liking this word for a title was because I was searching the official definition of triste, which means sad in Spanish. And tristesse came up first. Maybe it's because I've hung around with my Brother for so long who adores the French culture, but I thought it would fancy up the whole theme and give it a unique feel. Plus it doesn't hurt that it rhymes with a lot of words. So I haven't even started this piece but I have a good idea of where I want to take it: This song will serve as a swan-song....ha. Seriously, I want to take the idea of saying goodbye to someone you still deeply care for, include all the conflicting emotions that the memories present you with, and display that in a very sad and melancholy way. Honestly, the goal is to make it as heartbreaking as possible, using words that may not hammer a specific idea home, but to make it a little more interpretive. I've written poems like this before, but this will be the most shattering. We'll see...That's why the next couple of days would be a great time to get started on it.

The next one I wanted to touch on I have already finished. "Please Love Responsibly" is not much more uplifting. But I wouldn't call it sad. I think it presents a jaded point of view on modern dating. Although we're all victims to this new approach of speed dating, or dating that sort of feels like speed dating, I think most adults our age are sick and tired of this approach. I start out the poem with the word disingenuous and I probably could've ended it right there. I mean, we do have more ways of communicating than ever before, yet we say less and less. Despite the fact that I love technology and that I'm generally shy, there is something to be said about meeting someone in a 'traditional' format. And even when we do still meet in that way, it just seems like there are too many distractions to truly enjoy that person's company. I will continue to fall victim to these ideas. I'll meet a woman through the internet again one day. I'll look at my phone when having a good conversation. I'll spend too much energy on social networking sites. It's hard to escape. But for one night, I just said enough and shared my frustration with our short attention spans for each other. You shouldn't treat other people's feelings the same way you make a wish list on Amazon. These are people's feelings you have to keep in mind. We're individuals and if we're looking for a meaningful attraction, whether that's emotional or just lust, we have to be more responsible with how we treat one another. That goes for me and a lot of others. It's hard because these technologies are new and we're still learning how to juggle them in our actual lives. But it's some food for thought. It deals with all that.

Ugh.. Just took a shot of Robitussin. Terrible. Happily it's the first shot I've had of anything in quite a while. Hope everyone else stays away from the germs.

Thanks.

Observation

I took this photo a while back at a bar in a bathroom. Is this bumper sound advice or just jaded jargon??



Well, in my opinion, the jury's still out...

Making of..."DAYLIGHT SAVINGS"

Hey. Although I love to write, I've often found it very difficult to write from a perspective other than my own. Meaning that all of my material has been personal and from the heart. This isn't a bad thing. I love reading honest writing and I love creating it. And all writing has to be inspired by different experiences we've had anyway.

Look at "Rocky". Stallone wrote this amazing screenplay about a boxer who received a one in a million opportunity to prove how talented he was. But there were so many parallels to his own life: An unknown talent who no one believed in yet somehow had the opportunity to star in a small movie in the 70's that become enormous. I mean, that's probably more improbable of a story than the actual movie. But there's an example of great art having been influenced by the creator's life and dangerously close to appearing autobiographical. I'm sure there's a smarter example, but hey, that's mine.

But I digress!

It's just that I keep trying to write at least certain material that doesn't read as autobiographical. It's challenging because my best stuff is from the heart. But I continue to make attempts to write about topics that I'm not feeling at the time.

"Daylight Savings" is that attempt. When I started writing the poem, I wasn't in the mood to write about the highs and euphoric feeling that love brought. I wasn't feeling it at all! I just wanted to do break up pieces because that's what my heart was feeling at the time. And although I really love the way those pieces turned out, I felt the need to challenge my emotions and force myself to write about that love. I believe that truly great and diverse writers can take their own opinions and feelings out of the equation, and out of their work. It was so tough. I tried my hardest to put myself in a place where I could embrace that feeling. I used the metaphor of daylight savings which sort of kept me interested. I hate the time change in the fall. It's always been a dreadful time for me. Trees die. It gets darker earlier. Baseball ends (especially for the Mets). When I was young, school started. Worst of all, it got colder! So since all that is right around the corner and I'm kind of dreading it, that was a good starting point for me: Comparing the feeling that you receive from this loved one to spring time and when the dark nights last a bit shorter. How this person limits those dark times like daylight saving time!! GET IT?!?! The finished product is much better than it sounds. It also includes things like losing track of time because you're just that enamored with this person, and how calendars and alarm clocks are not necessary or relevant with a love that strong. It's very much idealized and less about reality. I'd say it's more about that honeymoon phase and the feeling at its pinnacle.

I must say that I'm glad that I decided to test myself with this, because not only did it come out pretty good, but it was very therapeutic. Rather than just dwelling on one topic, it opened up my thinking and helped me realize that feeling this way again is not impossible. Not by a long shot. And it gave me something to look forward to. Not that I'm rushing the process of love. It happens when it happens and it cannot be forced. But it opened my eyes to the obvious: That there is definitely a silver lining and daylight savings will come once again.

Thanks.

Random...

Cracker Jack prizes these days are not all that exciting.

Making of..."THE PROTECTOR"

Hi. Okay so when I was jotting down a bunch of ideas over the last couple of weeks, I came up with this. I really liked the possibility of having The Protector as a theme for the entire piece. It presented me the opportunity to take it in so many different place in regards to protecting yourself over emotional pain. I guess you can call that suppressing true feelings. So as far as relationships are concerned, it still left many possibilities to write about. Do you protect yourself by staying away from relationships completely because of the pain it could end up costing you? Do you get involved in a relationship, but put up an emotional wall for fear of feeling vulnerable or exposed? I liked the title, and knew how the format should be, but was conflicted because of all these options. Finally, my heart was feeling something a bit more specific and I decided to follow that instinct. And that was to protect yourself when dealing with a break up and how seemingly impossible that can feel these days. With technology, for better or worse, we are all connected in a way like never before. It's incredibly tricky and takes a whole lot of will power to ignore some of the excess of information that's out there. But when you finally do that, and follow all the constructive advice that is given to you to get this person off your mind, you're STILL not out of the clear. With some practice, you can tune out a lot of thoughts that can depress you and make you long for this person But you can't control what you think about when you're asleep! What a low blow, right?
So I decided to make this song about someone that works so valiantly to get this woman out of their head, but when they finally do, discover it's all for nothing because of all these dreams and/or nightmares that occur in his head overnight.

It's interesting because I've heard two completely different opinions on dreams from two people I really respect. One says that their just like junk that's processed through your mind and they mean nothing. The other says that they can have much deeper meaning as we explore thoughts we tend to be too apprehensive to have when we're awake. I side with the latter, unfortunately, because these dreams have done their damned best to destroy my soul. It's rough that the one part of the day that represents rest can be the most difficult. Honestly, I've woken from a couple of these 'dreams' and they've threatened to wreck my whole day and worse, the work I've done to move on. Sucks. But hey, it makes for great writing.

I'm glad I decided to go this direction with "The Protector" because it gave me the opportunity to write about a familiar topic, but present a whole new and creative spin on it. And that's all I could've asked for. Also, the relatable factor will be high for this one. It's done and it's quickly becoming a personal favorite. It expresses everything I just discussed in an emotional way and I hope you enjoy it when the entire project is complete.

Thanks.

(Alomst) Recording history!!!

One day that hit column for the opposition will read zero...One day... (hmm good title)

The return!

Hey now!

I'm reopening this jalopy of a blog and rather than just posting one giant entry that features a specific writing project as I have done in the past, I will definitely be writing here on a much more regular basis. It's certainly something I'm excited about: To be able to harness my creativity and this hobby while others can read along (or totally ignore it). It's going to feature different types of entries. As done before, I will write about the different poems/songs I'm working on. What they're about. What the inspiration behind them are and how easy and/or hard forming it will be. Along with the, "Making Of entries," I plan to push the boundaries and test my limits by also posting short stories, real life accounts, videos I love, rants, thoughts, etc. So I'll pop in a couple of times a week.

I'm hoping to find answers along the way regarding the things that make me happy, sad, depressed, indifferent and doing so how I know best: Creativity, honesty and self deprecating humor. I hope you'll join me for the ride.

Thanks,
Jaime