Wish me luck

Andrew W.K. is coming to Brooklyn College later today to participate in my final project. I will be directing a solo piano performance in our studio in campus by the man himself and I'm nervous as hell about it, which is probably why I've stayed so quiet about it. He was kind enough to agree in order to receive a DVD copy that may be used for any of his future endeavors! I'm so excited and honored that he would be a part of this production! THis makes me stressed as fuck! But now I understand why stress is good. Let you know how it goes.

Jaime

Ouch! My ear... and Daisy

Well, it took over 23 years, but I think I finally have an illness that has plagued infants: An earache. Unreal. I woke up Saturday morning to a throbbing pain in my left ear. For no reason. It pretty much messed up my entire day as I had to get to the pharmacy and pick up this strange over the counter ear drops that probably only worsened the problem. It actually helped the pain. But I wake up Sunday and guess what?! No pain. No hearing either! At least very little. So I spent Sunday hearing half of what went on. That was fun. Couldn't sleep because I waited late to write a paper for my sports writing class regarding statistics of best record teams not winning the world series, which I got my a-hole chewed for as always. (Ha It's all to improve your writing. I know. I know. Doesn't make it any easier though) So I finished the class and am now going to the doctors to find out wtf is going on in there. Ears are very strange when you think about it. I'm just hoping it's nothing serious and it's a stupid problem. It hasn't been fun trying to guess what's wrong. I'm sure it's all fine though. If I have enough time, I may head back to flatbush for my 2nd class but I don't think I can make it. We shall see. So I never have a problem with earaches in my entire life and now this?! Weird! Then again,

I just wanted to take a few moments to acknowledge a wonderful woman who was lost recently. A lady named Daisy, who took care of my aunt who suffers with mental retardation, for several years, passed away. Although it was a work environment for her, my mother quickly befriended her and she became a part of the family in a way. She drove me crazy because friends would call me and she picked up and wouldn't tell me! Ah that's Daisy for you. A few months ago, she became too sick to work and had to sort of retire. The family is very sad as she was only in her mid 50s. We all cared for her very much. I don't pray much, since I feel like a hypocrite doing it at times, talking only when you're in need. But we definitely pray for her and hold heavy hearts because of this, but at the same time, hope that she's in a better place.

I miss the Mets. I think I'm in denial. I ask myself "who's pitching tonight?' Ay. And It's mid October.

The writing is coming along slower than I'd like but great. Ideas are just flowing like a...let me think of something that flows...like a waterfall. (Terrible) The one I'm currently doing is great because I look back when I started writing lyrics when in high school, and as far as the content goes, these are things I would've never written about back then. It just shows that the older you get, the more your mind expands and opens a whole world of brand new problems. Ha scarier ones too. I'm going to put previews up soon. I just want to have a large body of work before I do so.

If you want to be creative and get great ideas, f drugs. Take a long shower. It is the answer to all my creative ventures.

Wish me luck. Will write again sooner than later.

"TOO SICK"

I admire and appreciate Brooklyn College's extensive core curriculum. It gives the college a good reputation (take that, snobs!) I really admire it. But come the f**k on. Core Music!? This class is killing me. At this stage of my life, I'm taking crap that I don't need! Granted this is the only one this semester of its kind. The rest of my classes are pretty relevant to the line of work I wish to be in. It's just that listening to Renaissance era, Baroque era, chords, timbres. ENOUGH! I can't take it anymore! When does it end? I'm completely uninspired in a class like that. It reminds me of the beginning of my college days. I was bored to tears with a lot of the stuff I was taking and my GPA suffered. More than half the required stuff I hated. It wasn't until about 2 years ago where I became motivated and actually enjoyed learning. This is due to just taking classes I was interested in. I took a bunch of philosophy classes, TV/radio classes, production stuff, writing all genres from fiction to poems to news to sports and listening to professors that have done amazing things. It was (and still is) fun and I really wanted to do well. Imagine that. So a class like music reminds me why I found a lot of my earlier days here so mind numbing. Maybe the extensive core isn't the best idea. You need to take classes that excite you and captivate you.
My friend told me how he/she really wanted to do something in a certain field and take classes for it but a parent had advised him/her not to because the job market was scarce within that field. And I say F that. It's undergraduate school. Do what you want! If you change your mind, and want to do something more "reasonable" that's what graduate school is for. (A route that I'm not taking for now) Secondly, at least try! The sky's the limit, even in the midst of a recession. Ha I know parents look out for their children's best interest, but we can't crush dreams here. Especially since that friend is an extremely talented person. I'm impressed.

Whatever. I count the days all the time. I'm ready to move on. Even though the market is terrible. Another great friend of mine (talking about a lot of friends' stories) got let go from a job before she ever started. WTF! People need to get beat up sometimes.I'm not trying to be emo or negative or whatever the hell you want to call it, but the world is full of assholes. Chances are even your loved ones are assholes. Asshole lovers! Ha. I don't know. I just wanted to let people know how f**ked up adulthood can be. And to that friend, I want her to know that she'll bounce back, like always. She's got more balls than me, that's for sure.

I saw the movie American Beauty for the first time in years and what a great film that is. I'll admit, it's a bit over the top with its narration and the teenager storyline, but Kevin Spacey is so on his game in that one. So many new emotions were sparked in me. I really felt for the guy though he was acting completely irrational. From the surface, it's about a mid life crisis. But that would be selling the script very short. I'm not jumping the bandwagon because it's the 'cool movie' to like, similar to Eternal sunshine (which i loved way before it got popular btw!!!) I just realized after seeing it again at this point in my life, I got it this time around.

Knocked Up kicks ass though. I kid you not.

Songs!! With my Mets gone and my trips to Shea closed until April, I've been devoting plenty of time in writing. It's always there. Sometimes the ideas aren't. Not the case this time. Right now, I'm writing this song called "Sick For Thanksgiving Again" which is going to be great. I had this mild cold last Thanksgiving and I realized it had been a trend for the last few years that I had some sort of bug during the holiday so I thought I can use that idea. But of course it won't be about sneezing. Gonna artsy it up and relate it to someone who's thankful for the people in his life but lets negative feelings get in the way of his celebration. Woo! Chorus' have been easy to write. Verses are much harder though, as always.

So far I have 3 songs done. Another 3 are halfway done. So there you go with that. The speed is picking up.

Oh and f**k the Phillies. You know what, fuck the * censors. In the words of this guy that sat next to me at Shea on a July game, "FUCK DA PHILLIES!".

It never gets any less painful

This is a piece I wrote for our Shea Faithful Myspace page which consists of almot 500 Mets fans and counting,all devastated. It's just a game my ass! I feel like shit.

After attending 60 Mets games, I'm left wanting so much more.


The one win that never came...

Hi everyone.

This past week of games I've attended have been some of the darkest days I've seen at Shea. A lot of people have been comparing it to a slow death. It's hard to disagree. I always had faith that they would get that one timely hit. Or make that one big pitch. In all likely hood, that's all it would have taken for us to make post season plans. Instead, everything went against us. And I mean everything. Was it fate? To witness this 'epic collapse'? Maybe. But I don't want to get into that aspect. This is baseball. We needed to step up and we didn't. We needed to show some moxy and sadly, we didn't. So now, we're returning playoff tickets and reversing plans we made to watch them. How tragic.

Who is to blame for this? I think everyone shares that burden. The bullpen, the starters, the lineup, the front office. They all combined to hand the division to the Phillies. And that's what this division was, HANDED OVER. And that's the most disappointing way to go. I must admit, going back to that town, which I don't like to begin with, is going to be difficult to say the least. Who am I kidding? They'll be thinking about off-season Eagles news by then anyway.

You see, if a valiant effort fell short, we'd all be sad, but we'd also hold our heads up high as fans. But with the lead we had and the chances that we squandered (we'll be thinking about every one of them this winter, one at a time) it's impossible to feel at all fondly of such a heartbreaking ending.

I wrote a similar goodbye bulletin after last year's game 7 and was devastated while doing it. Now, I feel a different kind of sickness. I can't really describe it. It's a little bit of disbelief blended with the feeling of a worst fear coming to fruition.

I mean I was sitting there today, motionless with a few thousand other fans, in utter shock that this would be our last ballgame we'd attend for 6 long months.
Coldplay was blasting through the speakers. "No one ever said it was easy' were some of the lyrics. Ya think? Is it ever easy being a Mets fan. No. Nor will it ever be. Which is why we're the greatest fans in all of MLB. Sure some of them are too tough on their players, but they care more than anyone. Yes, anyone. Northeast baseball fans matter most. Where the game has ALWAYS been. And we suffer, but keep coming back.

So no more scoreboard watching. I hated that aspect, especially seeing that the Phillies beat the basement teams we couldn't. No more checking scenarios. A lot of people blame this on heart and chemistry in the clubhouse and while I'm still very hesitant to point that as a reason (pitching...) you can certainly make a better argument now that the Mets will have an early vacation.

A 7 run first inning...Unbelievable!

None of us here are front runners or fair weather fans. Just a bunch of loyal, foolish and devastated die hards. So take in that pain. Embrace the pit in your stomach. Avoid the playoffs or sports talk radio if you choose to. Change the channel when you see Steve phillips on Baseball Tonight. Make up your own solutions and reasons for the Mets demise and rest up.
God willing, next year will come before you know it and we'll do it all over again. This time, with better results.

Our season didn't come. But all we can do as a fan is hope for better days.
I'm so sad that after so many games that I've attended and watched on television, it all comes to a close. What to do till then? i suppose I'll dwell on that one more win that never came.

We love you guys. And we'll always be around, getting ready for 08. This time, with an even bigger chip on our shoulders.

Jaime

MOOD: MIERDA!

Going again tonight... Not going to let a little thing like pain, anguish, get in the way.

Still at it.

It's Monday morning in September. The overwhelming state of the first week of classes has subsided. Another summer is over and I'm really exhausted in the library, waiting for class number 2 of the day. Blog time!

I took a break from the blog and song writing to focus on a installment of a story I've been writing since I was in high school. It was entitled Mediocre Man 4. About 10 friends/family read the 100 page script and hopefully more will as I continue to revise it. But it was a very rewarding experience to have people enjoy it. They weren't bullshitting either. I loved this story so much and it's theme of 'the power of letting go'. It had all the elements I love in a story and all the genres. It's probably my favorite thing I've ever written for many reasons. I'm also revising the first three installments of the 'saga'. I'll post more about that stuff soon. I want to edit it all and turn it into a book, done by staples or some website. Maybe I'll just print the hundreds of pages and bind them into a portfolio for my own collection and for anyone willing to read them. Whatever the case, MEDIOCRE MAN: THE EPIC COLLECTION is coming soon.

Anyway, I created this blog about a year ago to document song ideas, and lyrics and brainstorming. It's taken just a tad longer than expected to find stuff that works. For this whole year, I've realized how much easier and more enjoyable it is for myself to write scripts. Writing songs or lyrics is almost impossible. And I mean a good one that people haven't read before. With a story, you have plenty of room and time and method to get the reader to come inside of this fantasy world. It's still difficult and requires lots of time, more than songs, but with lyrics, you have to be fluid and clever and get the reader to understand your unique thought without shortchanging the idea in just a couple of verses. Not to mention it should have it's own hook or charm that RELATES to the message. At least that's how I've gone about writing these types of pieces. It's probably a terrible way, but it's mine. Oh and if you decide to do rhymes, it ties your hands even more. For instance, I had a great song idea I posted here months ago. It was going to be called Revolving Door. And I wanted to display the coming and going of lost loves. And it became impossible to offer something new. The metaphor of the doors was great but nothing around it worked. And if it did, it read way too similar to the last two projects or lyrics I've written in the past. So I started to become infuriated with the entire process. Why can't I develop something different. I loved about 90 percent of the 28 songs that I've posted on my site, but the whole point and the challenge is to find new ways to express myself with these pieces. And if I can't, I feel like saying fuck it. I don't want to do it. But I do. Creating a new writing style is imperative in this type of case. So that takes time. But the satisfaction I receive in the end result is great, and makes this 'hobby' or passion very worth while. No doubt, I love when friends read the stuff and really understand and enjoy it. But let's be honest, this is really for myself and how I find solice in different aspects of life. HOWEVER, there have been 6 people in particular who continue to ask when the new pieces are coming out. I love them for asking and they are all wonderful liars in pretending to care. The answer is...soon. I don't think i want to call the project Lucid anymore either. Maybe I still will but I want to entertain other possibilites.

I just finished the first piece of about 12. The song is great. I love it. I found a clever way of taking all those fears I just mentioned and all that frustration in regards to writing and displayed it in this one. The result product is something fresh I think at least. It has the charm and humor of some of the lyrics I wrote when I was like 17 but blends it with the serious, heart felt content that I have written more recently, within the last two years. It's called, "Teenage Poetry".
I'd post it right now, but it would be like just posting the first scene of a script. I can't do it that way. Mentally, I want it ALL there. All 12 pieces or songs, that makes up the project as a whole. But soon...

So that's what is going to make this writing process MUCH more enjoyable. I loved the last two projects. I went through rough depressive states along with really redeeming and refreshing times, and wrote the lyrics in that style with those emotions. There were no humor in the lines, and that was done for a reason. That's not how I wanted to write. But now I want to have it both ways. I want to add a smidget of humor because I feel it will open so many new avenues of writing and telling the story all in a song. It will also enhance the charm. I want each one to be like a twister. You read the first few lines and laugh and you say to yourself, 'this is going to be real funny. I'm really liking this.' Then the next lines, you're like, 'I didn't expect that. How sad.' Much like my writing style with of my short stories or scripts. A mix of every emotion. it's one thing to do that in a story, but a short, little song, with rhymes?! That would be amazing. And it's going to be. Right now, I'm starting a song called Too Ugly For Prince Street, an idea which I posted almost a year ago. Ha...Procrastinate much? I just needed to find the way.

I'm looking to finish these by December.

Most people write about their life events in these blogs. I don't often reveal much, spoken or journal-wise. But these songs are more revealing than anyone can possibly be. That's how I roll. I was born and raised on the streets...Ha that's enough.

But I'll say some things. Stop picking on Britney. No matter how nutty she is, I'll forever have a soft spot for that girl. She got me through many lonely nights back in the days of high school, especially those Rolling Stone covers. Also gave a rose during an autograph session back in 99. She was grateful and it was forever love!

I know the NFL really popular, but for God's sakes, we all need more baseball. (Which brings me to another point! In January, I'm going to start writing this story that suffering baseball fans in the winter have been longing for. It's going to be hilarious!! I can't wait to get to that. There's just too many ideas. But I have to take my time and section them out, or else I'll go crazy.

Pedro is the man and the Mets are looking as strong as they have all year. I've attended 51 games to date this season (I know, I'm unhealthy.ha) and for all those band wagon jumpers after the sweep in Philly, I told you so. Don't laugh at me next time. Okay?

Girls that think assistant directing during a Television studio production class means acting like a bitch toward everyone needs to reevaluate her entire existence. Guys for that matter too. Not being sexist at all. I'm speaking of a specific case so that's why I mentioned the opposite sex.

I may actually want to live in the country one day. Not scary country. Still talking northeast! But the Vermont-NH area is something else. It's so isolated and cheap to live. I could see myself dissapearing for a bit later in life and just live there. probably not. But the fact that I consider it says something I think.

Andrew WK is a very kind man.

I got to drive for the first time. This massive fear is slowly subsiding. It was in an isolated parking lot near a New Hamsphire mall. For about 5 minutes, I was behind the wheel, and loving every second of it.
I know twelve year olds drive so it doesn't matter and you think I'm crazy for waiting so long to try, but I'm not. Just slow. i got a great feel for the gas, breaks, power of just moving a vehicle. This is the start of something good.

People are confusing.

That's all I have for now. If you read all this, wow. I probably won't even read up to here and I wrote the damn thing. Take care. I'll write back in a week. Blog is back!

Back but frustrated...

"Writing is easy. All you do is stare at a blank sheet of paper until drops of blood form on your forehead."

More to come

Invited to speak at lecture presented by Andrew W.K.; Interviewed for 40 minutes by public radio

I am very fortunate to be telling yet ANOTHER amazing story regarding one of my favorite people in the world, Andrew W.K.

He's been taking a break from those intense concerts, and has been doing various speaking engagements and hosting a bunch of parties at various night clubs. Anyway, a couple of weeks ago, I attended one of these lectures. It was held at an improv theater in the Flatiron District.

Some of the topics were presented by Andrew and the audience were mind blowing. Not to mention a strange celebrity sighting (Kathy Griffen).
Afterwards, I said hi to Andrew to congratulate him on another job well done. We were talking for a few minutes and he asked me if I would come back next week to appear on stage and speak about various topics. I was stunned. Asking me to do public speaking may not be the best move for anyone involved, ha. But of course, I agreed to do it. The oppurtunity was too rare and amazing to pass up. So this past Monday, I showed up along with Ray and Kimberly who came to show their support, and it went great. Sure, I was nervous and I may not have made perfect sense at times. But I had a great time just challenging myself. I met some very cool people there. Afterwards, a man who works at public radio station, was conducting a piece on Andrew WK, which will air this June and he asked if I could answer a few questions about my past experiences with him, specifically being on his MTV2 show and how it has influenced me today. I haven't done that much talking in a long time. Ha. But all in all, there were some great times have. I want to thank Andrew for believing that I could contribute to the speaking engagement, and my brother and kim for showing up. You guys rarely dissapoint and I know it.

By the way, I've just started writing the lyrics to the songs! Finally! The first one I'm working on is Too Ugly For Prince Street. I don't have the sound or anything (as everyone knows, I can't play any instruments but I attempt to write songs anyway)but the chorus is being developed. I hope to be done with everything by late May, or June.
It's funny because this semester my writing has been bashed (I mean, really killed) and on the other hand, I've also been recommended to write reviews for public radio and get paid. So go figure...It's been quite an experience and I've develpoed different feelings on each extreme.

Okay. That's it for now. Spring is here! 10 days until the Mets return. My life will be complete. The strange thing is that I'm really serious about that. I have tickets to 20 games already, but I'm planning on going to 50, just like last year.
Good night everyone.

Possible Title: "Lucid"

This will be the last proposed title in my little list of songs. I've generated more than enough ideas to work with this time around. I have really enjoyed coming on here and brainstorming random thoughts and ideas, as well as really thought out topics. It's really helped out the entire writing process. Semesters keep me busy. I may not be able to walk and chew gum at the same time. This is not an analogy either. The other day, I inserted a stick of Wrigley gum in my mouth while I was walking and I bumped into a parked car. Damn! Kidding...
I'm still going to write here to report significant events in my life (which means you'll see 2 more posts in the next year...another joke) and show some lyrics as I go along. What the hell am I talking about, you ask? I don't know...

OKAY! I've wanted to write this God damn thing since early last year, but haven't. I just wasn't inspired by much at the time. No ideas. Obviously, I would get the occasional good idea, but nothing I took and ran with. But as time went on, those small ideas grew into bigger and better ideas. Then new ideas were formed, as you've seen on this blog. They've rotted in my brain and now I'm ready to throw it all out.

So since last year, the word Lucid has always been a word I knew I wanted to include in my writing in some form. I just like how it sounds and what it represents. I heard it on Law & Order SVU on a random January night while eating Wise chips and drinking chocolate milk. I believe detective Benson was talking about this really crazy guy who did something horrible and he had then taken medication afterwards to appear in court. She then labeled him as lucid. Now, I've heard the word millions of times before but the context to which it was used really appealed to me. I checked out the official definition of it online even though I had my own idea of what it meant (clear, easily understood) but I was frankly surprised by some of the synonyms listed. Here are some of them: all there, clear-headed, normal, sane, together...

I said to myself, "Wow. This is perfect." At the time I was thinking about very basic questions such as, what is crazy or what makes someone act insane or not together. And what (or who) defines this type of irratic behavior? So I wanted this word to be the official title of this project to represent all of the songs and words within the songs that represent clear or unclear ideas. I think this word is what anyone's lifestyle is really about. There are those moments in life of clarity where you're perfectly sane, have it all together, and know exactly where you're going. Then there are those times where things are out of control, your thoughts are extremely unclear as well as points of view, and you start to behave strangely. Now, it's important to realzie that not being lucid doesn't mean you're bad or wrong. If someone stays inside their room or a studio for 48 hours straight (literally) to work on their craft, without going outside, without eating, that can be considered insanity. But after those two days are complete, a masterpiece has been created. Was it bad to go against some of these sane, typical ideas, of waking up, going to bed, eating, going outside, socializing, etc? Everyone needs these moments of craziness. It's interesting to think about. I suppose what I'm trying to say is that there are so many different points of view in this world, who is right and wrong? So whether there's a song in this about a love that never worked out, a loss in one's life, feelings of lonliness or happiness, or anger, it all goes back to the title, Lucid. Clear headed? Normal? Sane? All there? Sometimes you are, sometimes you aren't.

As for the actual song , it's about the debate on what makes someone Lucid. Everyone has a different idea on how to stay lucid, such as living life dangerously or staying safe, getting drunk or high or staying sober, taking medication or embracing pain and paranoia, being impulsive, or keeping straightedged. Or even being all of these things in one life. What is right for you? Can it be generalized? Who knows. I have no answers by the way. But I thought it be cool to throw this idea out there.

Goodnight everyone. I'll write here very soon. In other news, that damn Al Gore with that boring documentary, was right...Global warming is not fun.

Possible Title: "Look Inside"

I finally got a haircut. The long style wasn't working for me. Maybe I'll try again some other time with more motivation involved. The last time I went to the barber was around Thanksgiving. Whoa. That's almost four months. I feel this new sensation...Not really. But it feels feel.

Anyway, I'm real tired because in the wonderful college life, professors decide to assign important assignment, tests, you name it, all in one-two condensed weeks. Horray! That's not sarcasm. I'm really excited about it all. Okay, so it was sarcasm. I'm really looking forward to wrapping my college career up. So I'm knocking on wood that by the end of the year, nothing bad will happen. It's as simple as that.

ANYWAY

This song is going to be about fears that you may have had in the past, thought you got rid of them, but it reality, you just suppressed them. It goes a bit deeper. Let's say there was something you felt that really prevented you from happiness. It could be anything, whether it be a bad decision, personality flaws,etc. But it's about self inflicted problems. For whatever reason, as we get older, we set barriers and this prevents us from feeling good a lot of times.

So in short, (and to repeat) it's about a person who thought he got rid of his fears and barriers for good, but realizes they were just hidden and masked. And at a certain aspect of his life, these fears re-surface and it's the most frustrating thing in the world to that person. And he feels like giving up and letting those fears consume him once again.

Compare it to an alcoholic who goes through all the rehab, attends the meetings, thinks he's no longer dependent on the drink, then relapses. That's the idea I'm trying to portray. But it's not about alcoholism! It was just an analogy. I've heard plenty of instances in which people thought they no longer had to deal with these demons, but they come back. And this song is dedicated to all the people that have gone through this. We look inside and realize these feelings just build up and hide!

Radio show update...and info on songs

This upcoming Tuesday will my second time on the radio. This semester, I will be running a weekly, one hour sports talk show with another guy named Victor. It is all part of a requirement for my radio production class. Last week, there were a few glitches but I must say that I enjoyed myself. I may not have the 'radio voice' but it's something that I got into. We discussed the soap opera that is Yankee land, including Jeter and Arod's friendship (or lack of) Bernie Williams, Mariano Rivera's contract status and a bit of Mets starting rotation stuff. The theme of the show ended up becoming RESPECT, which was not planned at all. It was all spontaneous and I liked it that way. We also played some fine rock tunes. It will make a few times to get the hang of all the equipment, but that will come in time.

Tomorrow will be more baseball oriented, specifically Mets, so I should enjoy it. It's the hardest kind of radio to do, talk. I mean, come on, talking a lot isn't my greatest strength. Let's be honest here. But when it comes to these topics, I can not only pull it off but enjoy the challenge. All the knowledge is there. It's just a matter of expression, which is always difficult for certain personalities. But it feels good to break patterns once and a while.

So here's the info for anyone that wants to know. We encourage you to check us out and give us a listen. I burned our first show on CD, and I cringed at hearing my own voice or blunders at a few instances. We may get a myspace up and running which will be dedicated to the show. There, you can HOPEFULLY listen to it or even a podcast? We'll see. I'm trying to think of some unique ides. The only negative is that the college has a great site dedicated to the station, which streams 24/7 but lately, it hasn't been exactly working. But I'll let you know when that problem is fixed. Believe it or not, it goes through bcat too sometimes...Imagine that!! haha

The Victor & Jaime's Sports Hour airs Tuesdays from 1-2pm
1090 AM WBCR Brooklyn College Radio
Streaming live (hopefully again soon) at brooklyncollegeradio.org
Call us if you want to give your two cents... I'll have that for you when the site starts to run again.

Anyway

I'm almost done with the early stages of writing for this thing! LUCID! It's been a long time coming and there's still a long ways to go. But I only have a couple more possible title entries left. THEN I will take those titles and work exclusively with them to write the CONTENT, which is the best part. I feel this works best with what I try to do. I'm hoping for all of them to be done by early May. I want it to be different from the other stuff, or maybe a blend of EVERYTHING I've done before which is different in a way. Funny, serious, tongue and cheek, angry, sad, light hearted, all that stuff. More to write about.

It's been a rough semester. Sometimes you luck out with the draw. This isn't one of those scenarios...Oh well. I'll live and keep trying. Me being a senior really helps and motivates me to continue to try. I think it's time for a change and this is the first time I've felt like this with being where I am lately. It feels time for the next step. I might have written this before. In any nature, I hope you all enjoy work/school/bumming around, whatever! Just love it.

First spring training game on Wednesday with nicer weather on the way! LIGHT!!!!!!!

Peace out, Seacrest.

Possible Title: "Losing Your Virginity"

This song is about losing your virginity...

Possible Title: "Extinction Of Innocence"

Sometimes I feel as if we live in a society that has lost its focus on simplicity. I'm by no way judging this action. That has to be clear before I go on. Now, I'm not too sure about the specifics of what I mean. It's difficult to delve into the issue. After all, I wasn't alive at other time periods so there is no way I can accurately contrast. I've only experienced 22.5 years of life, which is not really enough to alone, tell the difference or whether or not there has been a shift in the way a collective group of people conduct themselves. However, this title is meant to be broad and really can mean several things...

The first is possibly a tale of growing up. I feel that I've beaten this topic to death in terms of things I've written in the past, satires or serious pieces. But every now and then, I re evaluate this thought. I am fascinated by it. And it's not about 'being stuck' in the past or anything like that. I feel it's more of a comparing of sensations between then and now scenario. For instance, we know that different things excite us now than things way back when, but what were some of those different feelings that were had during these moments of exhileration. And most people do this, but in a much broader sense than what I'm trying to say. I do that too, but I think it's sometimes interesting to focus on a specific mood or observation based on that past. Like what exactly what you were saying in your head? How did this appeal to you and why? The most fun part for me is to then fast foward the tape and ask yourself if you still feel this specific way or has your point of view been altered because of epiphanies or experiences acquired in between. It sounds complicated, but it's really not.

Like, from the top of my head, I remember about 5 years ago, I was in Canada on a family trip, and I remember this feeling of pure excitement. It's summer, and walking on new ground and uncharted territory is always so much fun. And I remember just thinking of the anticipation between the walk from the hotel to Niagra Falls. And I was playing certain songs in my head. And then I wonder if I would feel the exact same way if I were to go there for the first time NOW.

To be quite frank, I'm realizing the main idea of this song as I write this, which is the point of this blog. Ha! Seriously, the Canada thing was an example of exploring memories and looking deeper than just the visual images and the exact feelings.

But to attempt to stay on topic, this is about simplicity. The joy received from life when younger is a lot more basic. And it's a beautiful innocence that we should all admire and try to hold onto. I'm not saying to be Willy Wonka. But I am saying it's important to stay true to those simple pleasures that make life not only tolerable, but temporarily exhilerating.

And to just smell the air in a place that brings you back...I feel that these practices aren't encouraged enough and are looked down upon because only 'crazy' people look back. But there's this nice balance that can be created. I've found out in recent experiences that the past and present compliment each other nicely.

So in conclusion, this is about the extinction of all this. The end.

In other opinions, I think teachers and professors all over the country need to re-evaluate their strategies. I don't mean to come out as a radical fool, but there's a difference between using authority to create a learning environment and abusing it.
There will soon be a day where the education system is going to receive a major overhaul and the method to which we know today will change.

I may or may not be doing my first full radio show this afternoon. I'm very nervous but we shall see. I'll let you know how it goes when it finally goes.

See you all soon.

Possible Title: "Road Kill On Cherry Hill"

Note: This is the last piece I'm doing about this particular scenario EVER. It's very specific. And very personal. I've written about it several times in my last projects, but only once in this one. This was designed this way on purpose. There is a reason for it. It's symbolic. I wanted to have these new points of view displayed in one giant emotion filled writing rather than scattered around. The symbol is closure and freedom.

Cherry Hill is a town in New Jersey. In order to get to Philadephia from New York City via driving, you must go through it. The name always fascinated me for whatever reason. It just sounds like a name that is out of place in a state like New Jersey. Then I started thinking about road kill. How morbid the phrase is and how gross and genuinely sad it is to see. And just blending the two phrases together in a title, it had a nice ring to it. I love this title and what it's going to stand for.

Anyway, Cherry Hill sounds very throwback to me, and in the past, served as my own passage-way. Well, while taking the journey there, on bus, I would look outside the window and just look at the setting. It was really nothing to brag about. It was very isolated. Chain restuarants, fast food, lots of roads, trees...But I enjoyed the ride because of what the overall outcome would be.

This is the idea about the decision to take a journey based on what your heart says, even though your brain knows it will end up in tragedy. It's the classic case of hope against hope.

Let me stop beating around the bush. You know when you're in love with someone but they fall out of love with you. The intensity of the situation NEEDS to be touched on. Some people, believe it or not, don't have to feel this pain. I don't know how or why, but they never seem to be the hurt. They do the hurting. More power to you if you have that ability. But I haven't had that same sort of luck. So anyway, when you feel for someone who doesn't feel back, you typically go on a mission. And that mission is labeled as hope AGAINST hope. It's that feeling that you get inside your gut where you KNOW these actions won't help, and may even harm the situation further. But you don't care. It's as if you don't have control of the situation. It becomes an out of body experience, where you're just observing yourself make these mistakes, and there's nothing you can do about it. You're in theory, watching a train wreck

So in this song, a guy makes a journey to save a dying relationship. He's on his way to Philly, but realizes the dream is dead halfway there. This realization is made in Cherry Hill. And he heads back home.
No, this particular never really happened to me. I didn't physically take the journey, but I did in my head, which I considered torturous enough. This man reflects on the lost love and no longer blamed himself or her at the end. And he felt the greatest feeling in this case. That feeling is indifference.

We tend to simply label people as bad or mean or wrong. But are they really? Just because they do something outside of our own beliefs, does that make them wrong? It's such a tough realization, believe me. Because when you're so angry and upset at someone, you associate them with badness. But what defines someone as bad. We all have different morals and standards. So, in the end, no one is really wrong. Of course, you have the right to resent actions, which sort of contradicts all that was stated in this paragraph to begin with. Oh well.

Side note: Tomorrow will be my first day on radio. It's just a practice run for a weekly sports talk show (with music) that I'm doing with this guy for school. It will be on around 2ish. Yikes. Wish me luck. I'll discuss further about it once I actually know more. Talk to you all soon.

And Jack Bauer is king.

Won a contest to attend a special lecture

from andrewwk.com

Come To Class:

Andrew W.K. was the guest speaker at artist, Patterson Beckwith's class at The Cooper Union School, in New York City on Wednesday, January 31st, 2007.
The Cooper Union is for students only, and the class is closed to the public, however, Andrew and Cooper Union gave THREE people a chance to be part of the event.
Applicants in the "Come To Class With Andrew" contest, had to write a 200 word statement on their desire, and if possible, submit an image of their art work. Andrew selected the 3 winners himself, and they are:
Kaite Murphy, Jaime DeJesus, and Jesse Benjamin.
Thank you to EVERYONE who wrote and entered.

It was an honor to be a part of this event! Lots of enganging talk about the creative sector of life in terms of business and personal thoughts. It was great.

Okay. I'll post something creative later tonight.lol I promise. It's been too long!

On the radio!?!?!?

The radio may never be the same again. It appears that due to the requirements of my new production class, I will be given the opportunity to have a radio show over at WBCR. I don't have much details right now, but if all goes according to plan, it will be aired Thursday afternoons, on campus, and streaming online all over the world and will be 1 hour long. In addition, the title is "Victor & Jaime's Sports Radio Show" and is about...well the title explains it all.

I am overwhelmed, fearful, yet intruiged by this task. Yesterday, I went into the recording studio to learn the ins and outs of the hardware. And was on the air for about 5 minutes. It's going to take time, that's for sure! My partner seems to like the opposite of EVERYTHING: YANKEES?! NETS!? This should be interesting. I'll keep you all posted. There will be sports talk, music, phone calls, etc. We go in on Thursday to practice and lay out some stuff to burn on a cd. I shall have a heart attack soon. This practice run may actually be on the air. If so, I'll provide you with a time and link to listen. This damn thing is played on two speakers outside the building where people go to smoke! QUE LASTIMA! We'll see what happens. I'm going to give this a try. This class, overall, will probably be the death of me. So if I don't post, be very worried.

Time to listen to some words of wisdom by Little Marie! More news to come...

It's been a while...

I've been binging on episodes of 24, Top Ramen, and doing work promoting a day that I set up for my favorite musical act, Andrew WK on the myspace fan site that I run. It turned out amazing. And I had a great time at the dance club entitled Sutra in order to celebrate it. Normally, this isn't my type of scene. But I find it interesting to break conventions every now and then. It was certainly interesting. And after a few hours this morning of recoup, I'm back in the swing of things. I considered last night my grand finale of fun before the 2nd to last semester begins.
Here's a shirt that a great bud of mine and me created. I presented it to Andrew as he was guest DJ. He wore it the whole night as he was hard at work. Lots of the fans that visit the site really got into this day and it took a life of its own. I feel very encouraged and fulfilled to have seen the day explode like it did.
I'll be back TOMORROW with new material, thoughts, etc. Enjoy these pictures.

www.myspace.com/themovingroom




















And here's a tribute video I created on my new MAC (like Michael Scott) I'm a beginner but I plan to master this skill!! I plan on doing something funny/inspirational that will make you want to go seize the day and laugh out loud! Stay tuned for that.


Why am I not tired?!?! FAK!!! Oh well. Back to 24. Bio terrorism is not fun by the way. Remember that. Remember that.

Possible Title: "Motionless"

Hey everyone.
I've had a few days away from the writing process but my mind has been on it a lot. Thinking about different things I'd like to discuss and incorporate with this project.I have a list of topics/titles and I've spent some time trying to add a few and I believe that I have done just that.

Motionless was a title I used for a 15 page short story I wrote for my fiction writing class this past semester. Most of the feedback was positive with a few suggestions of tweaking. Essentially, it was about a man in his late twenties who is in a major funk. He realizes he's living a tedious life with absolutely no excitement. He became complacent over the years and ended up in a redundant mess. He constantly argues with his girlfriend he lives with. He has a job that does not fulfill nor expand his mind. He's not challenged there. He does things with his friends during his off time that he doesn't even truly enjoy. Yet, he does nothing about it. He just replays it and replays it. He begins to live on auto pilot, until one moment, he meets an old crush from childhood. It was nothing meaningful in terms of their connection. They just talk for about 3 minutes and their friends tease him and she says goodbye. It was this moment of humility where he FINALLY becomes impulsive. He decides to leave the dance club he was in, get in his car, and without packing anything, without telling anyone, go to an isolated town somewhere in the north east, and stay there for a while. Meet new people. Find solice and start a new life. Most of this climax is internal so physically, nothing is really happening. But these thoughts excite him like he hasn't been excited in a very long time. He gets some money at the bank. As he's driving to his destination, more thoughts enter his head. He listens to a voice mail of his girlfriend, breaks down and cries, and turns around to go back to his mundane life. Now, it's never really clear what it is that alters his once spontaneous decision, and that's what I loved about this story the most. It could have been the guilt he felt when hearing his lover's voice. But it could have been that he was afraid of leaving everything because he wouldn't succeed. Perhaps he made excuses for him to stay. OR he realized that he may have taken everything he had for granted. We don't know how it plays out. Maybe this character found happiness and acceptance when he turned around. He could also have lived and died a life that never lit up any sparks. Lots of people do unfortunately. It's another great tragedy. And we don't know (along with the protagonist) how that decision to leave would've played out...It could have been the best or worst thing he's ever done. When writing stories, we're expected to write a resolution at the end of the piece, but in life, there often ISN'T a resolution. Or the resolution changes many times. Or continues. It's never just cut and dry. I love the story format. I think it works. But in this one, I wanted it to imitate life as much as possible. And in life, only death is the true resolution. And this man's journey isn't concluded. I hope he would find happiness, whether that means with his current situation or a new one. Deep down inside, it indeed is about a man that should've taken that drive all the way north. He needed a drastic move like that to change his life, because he won't make those changes individually in his current setting. At least that was my perception of the character. The beauty is that I wanted EVERYONE to make their own conclusion on this character. But he just stands still. He's motionless...
Now all that I just said, I want to form in song/poetic form. How do I take 15 pages of info and form it into that will be a tall order.

My break has been very relaxing and I'm enjoying myself. I need baseball in my life. And I'm beginning to feel those January blues. This month and especially February are my least favorite months. But time flies. I want to talk about self confidence in my next blog and having the guts to not worry about what people say. Because, I'd say in about four days, there have been 3 lines people have told me, that have gotten under my skin and upset me. Now I'm not fragile. But it was all guided towards a specific topic that has always been sensitive subject to myself. So I'll discuss that in the coming posts. Oh, also... a very awesome person commented on a previous post, saying that rainy days creates nostalgic feelings and I want to touch on that. I'm almost done with the different titles and ideas. I'm going to take all these ideas and form songs for each individual...one. I need 13 but I'll keep writing here regardless. I'm very pleased with how it's all unfolding so I'm not going to stop.

Even my crazy/active brain is slowing down. So until then, goodnight all. If anyone has read all of this, from top to bottom, here's a message for you:
I LOVE YOU!!!

Possible Title: Revolving Doors

I don't know about you, but I find it interesting how close we start to become to people, not just girlfriends, boyfriends, or lovers, but friends, family, etc. It's amazing how close we are to these certain people at particular times in our lives. Then a turning point comes. Sometimes it's for a reason. Sometimes there is no reason and is very anti-climactic. The phrase 'ghost from the past' comes to mind. I could think of a time when I was so close to certain people and I'd consider them great friends. I had this perception in regards to time and how I thought I'd know this person fairly well forever. But a couple of years later, I rarely talk to them. It's really sad. It's not all this person's fault. Things change, people move. It's not all my fault. Priorities change. Just because it's nobody's fault doesn't mean it's not a tad bit underwhelming. I don't know these people anymore. It's unreal because I once did. Very well too. But people move, and sometimes you feel left behind. And I think we start thinking about this when we run into someone unexpectedly and start having small talk. I reflect on this notion often. It's often been what drives me to write in the first place. Time. And people that were left behind at certain 'phases' of our lives. Will the people I care about so very much still be around in about 5 years? How about 10? And if not, will there be new people to 'replace' those roles? Will these people better or worse? Do I even want these people to exit my life?
It's all very sad, but it happens. The detachment of friends/lovers that have greatly influenced your life so much. Maybe they even left a mark. Everyone wants to be remembered in a positive light. Will you have made a mark in their lives where they'll think about you when they hear a song, or watch a movie? Lots of depressing questions. Some people are able to move on faster than others. I admit, I was very poor at this act, but have improved greatly in recent years. I've begun to understand this aspect of life. It's basic, but sometimes difficult to grasp. It's still sad that I even HAVE TO discipline myself to understand these notions. I wish we could always hold on to an aspect of closeness with people. It's almost impossible to do with relationships. And understandibly so. But what does that say to us? Can we NOT handle staying friends with people we once slept with, or kissed, or shared intimate secrets with? A different way to word it, is the human brain incapable of staying in touch with people who remind them of a certain time they are trying to break free from? Probably not.
That's why there are so many awkward moments in bumping into these ghost from the past.
So the REVOLVING DOORS sort of symbolize the rapid transition of people coming and going. That's what I'd like this song to represent. Let these DOORS be a metaphor to the arrival and absenses of close friends/lovers at such a steady pace, that it's hard for the brain to distinguish the differences.
And finally, If I'm close to you now, will I be in even a few weeks? It's not a happy thing to ponder, but necessary.

Whew...That's felt like the deepest one yet. Hope you enjoyed it. My brain is fried now.
In other news, David Bheckham is very rich. He will make 1 million dollars a week for playing a sport that is extremely unpopular in the States. I'll be lucky if I make 100 dollars a week.
See you guys soon.

Possible Title: "The Stars That Won't Align"

Two people that click and have deep seeded feelings for each other but can't get their destinies to align together. So nothing happens. And love is wasted. That is what this one is about. It happens a lot more than you think. In fact, I feel there are more couples that care about each other that don't blossom than do. It's probably the most tragic thing in terms of love, relationships, and loss...Because it's just plain regret. And you end up asking questions such as: Where would I have been? What would we have been like? Would we still be together? These questions could possibly eat you up inside. And do. If you're cheated on, it stabs you. If you're broken up with, it stabs you. If you break up with someone, it's putrid. But never knowing...Well, it leaves a feeling of numbness and indifference because there's nothing inside the memory bank. But never knowing for sure whether or not there could have been, it's a classic human tragedy. I think that when this happens, you become complacent. And you stop taking chances. You stop taking risks. Because you let that first one get away. Then you start to form excuses why you should let more opportunities pass you. And you do. And then life passes you by. You finally realizes you want to start taking chances again, especially, on people, but you realize it's too late. I feel depressed just at the thought alone. It's worse than getting your heart smashed, worse than any rejection. There are instances where two people share this regret. Maybe they met at the right place, but the wrong time. Maybe they said things which altered their entire destiny together. A few words or one scenario can turn love into just friends or nothing at all. Or not saying something at the right time for that matter. Sometimes a guy waits to long to tell that girl how he feels. Maybe she was with someone at the time. There are dozens of obstacles for love to come about. It's so hard these days. I'm not saying it's good or bad, better or worse than before, it's just harder. Label it what you will. But I have different inspirations in this one, from personal experience to friends to strangers. It's a universal story. Stars that won't align.

In other news, Bush is still an idiot.

I'll be back tomorrow with more stuff.

Possible title: "The Love Asylum"

You've heard the bright side of love relationships (SEE BELOW) now enter THE LOVE ASYLUM. This isn't sought out to de value love or closeness. I've been through a lot of hardship in this field, as has everyone at my age. I like to call this stage The Jaded Phase because this is usually about the point where someone has been hurt with their first love' ages (18-22). So people get so frustrated and bitter with that first taste of rejection, they begin to resent the word love and all the stress it comes with. Now, normally as they get older, they learn that it's a part of life and though it still hurts them a lot, they are willing to give new people they meet the benefit of the doubt and not judge them by their past lovers or partners. SOme don't and stay cynical. I'm not here to say one way is the right way. It's good to protect your heart from being broken. I applaud everyone who does so. It's wise. But it could possibly serve as a road block that prevents from opening up feelings of goodness. And I don't care how jaded you are, nobody wants to do that. Some people need more alone time than others, but that doesn't mean they want to spend their entire lives in complete solidarity. I'll refer to the famous Twilight Zone episode where a man spends his whole life in an isolated town. He ends up going insane even though he thought it's what he wanted. The whole thing was a test to see how the human mind would respond to lonliness. We all need someone. It's so sad when in an old married couple, when one passes away, the other one typically shortly follows. So love can be wonderful and necessary.

Now having said all this, the song is not about all that goodness. So jaded fans, you'll enjoy this one. It's about madness. I want to display all the emotions during a large argument. How can one person possibly try you so nuts? Is it because there are horribly awful people? Doubtful. Is it because you are genuinely bad? No. After all, your friends don't drive you that mad. It's always upto YOU how angry you get. Sure, everyone gets provoked. But you get so MAD and insane because you give someone the power to make you that way. Why?! That's what the Love Asylum will be about. So get ready to get checked in. Once you do, you ain't leaving. It becomes an addiction that, in this case, will certainly drive you. There will be a lot of door slamming, a lot of red turning. Voices will be shot because of screaming. Hairs will stand. Skin will crawl. Ears will hurt. And when it all subsides, we take a few moments to do it all over again. This is what this one is about.

PS What's this foul odor in the city about? Maybe it was because of that guy that farted in the urinal...Or my bud, Matt. Who knows what happened?

Possible Title: "Monday Morning"

I don't know about you but there are very few things I loathe more than waking up bright and early after the weekend. Now I know this sounds petty compared to the other problems out there. But come on, people. Let's be honest. At some point or another, we've all had that feeling of depression, anger, fatigue, sadness, whatever. Remember that feeling right now. The beginning of what seems to be an endless week of tedius procedure. Picture this dispair. Now, I want you to think of a euphoric experience so strong, a feeling so deep, an emotion so tied and riding high, that it can make you actually smile on a Monday morning upon awakening, even at the crack of dawn. If you picture this scenario then you pciture this idea for the song.

It's about a love so deep, a person so special, that if you got to see this person on this once dreaded time, it would create higher emotions than other other average previous interest could on a Friday night. If you ever find this type of person and they have this type of power to do this, it's likely that ultimately this person will be bad for you. But you don't care at the moment. Nor should you. Because it is what, at the present time, makes you feel good. I would love this to have an 80's feel to it. Something Cure-esque. But I'm no expert. Mid-tempo, with a positive feel to it. I know the Cure can tear your heart into a million pieces and smash it after. But that's neither here nor there.
Monday Morning will be about the ressurection of a man. Stay tuned for preview and piece in it's concluded state.

Miracle On Bedford Ave: Jaime passes Bio; finished with Science/Math requirements; In addition, two A's and two B's

It's finally complete! I am done with science and math for the rest of my natural life! (Well, you need math for life, but nothing as elaborate as the junk they teach in these classes). And I couldn't be happier. I received the e-mail a few days ago and I couldn't be more thrilled. Yes, small feat to some, but these classes have been a thorn at my side since grade school and this semester was no exception. Due to it being a heavy internet dependant class and a difficult mid term, all hope seemed to be lost. But I am proud to say I am done with it for good. I am one core class away (music) from completing BC's unbelievably long core curriculum (the longest I've heard of to date). Anyone that goes to Brooklyn, what's the deal with this f'ing class always being filled. I'm a lower senior and I STILL can't get a seat resevered for this damn thing. Something stupid ALWAYS happens where I can't sign up online and I want to smash the computer when it says I haven't filled pre-requisites. IT'S CORE MUSIC FOR GOD SAKES! THERE ARE NO REQUIREMENTS! WHAT DO I NEED TO DO TO GET INTO THIS CLASS?! PLAY THE SAX?! Anyway, I'll do it next semester, my final one if all goes well. It's down to single digits people. It took me long enough, but I'm still very proud and ready to get this thing done, this year in 07!
In addition, two A's! One in Fiction Writing, and one in Caribbean Culture/History and two B's: Law Policy, and Film.
Power!! In one of my finer semesters, I REALLY want to do this, finally! There's no turning back now. It ends this year...
Radio Production is the next major mountain.

Thank you for everyone that helped me procrastinate during the semester, read my stories and gave me feedback.

Prospective Title: "Sick To My Stomach"

This is a fitting title because I always have an awful stomach, especially during dire circumstances. And it's how I feel right now. I don't know why I haven't thought of it before. I was given some inspiration though.

I'm going to start working on it in the coming days. Stay tuned for more preview...