Ouch! My ear... and Daisy

Well, it took over 23 years, but I think I finally have an illness that has plagued infants: An earache. Unreal. I woke up Saturday morning to a throbbing pain in my left ear. For no reason. It pretty much messed up my entire day as I had to get to the pharmacy and pick up this strange over the counter ear drops that probably only worsened the problem. It actually helped the pain. But I wake up Sunday and guess what?! No pain. No hearing either! At least very little. So I spent Sunday hearing half of what went on. That was fun. Couldn't sleep because I waited late to write a paper for my sports writing class regarding statistics of best record teams not winning the world series, which I got my a-hole chewed for as always. (Ha It's all to improve your writing. I know. I know. Doesn't make it any easier though) So I finished the class and am now going to the doctors to find out wtf is going on in there. Ears are very strange when you think about it. I'm just hoping it's nothing serious and it's a stupid problem. It hasn't been fun trying to guess what's wrong. I'm sure it's all fine though. If I have enough time, I may head back to flatbush for my 2nd class but I don't think I can make it. We shall see. So I never have a problem with earaches in my entire life and now this?! Weird! Then again,

I just wanted to take a few moments to acknowledge a wonderful woman who was lost recently. A lady named Daisy, who took care of my aunt who suffers with mental retardation, for several years, passed away. Although it was a work environment for her, my mother quickly befriended her and she became a part of the family in a way. She drove me crazy because friends would call me and she picked up and wouldn't tell me! Ah that's Daisy for you. A few months ago, she became too sick to work and had to sort of retire. The family is very sad as she was only in her mid 50s. We all cared for her very much. I don't pray much, since I feel like a hypocrite doing it at times, talking only when you're in need. But we definitely pray for her and hold heavy hearts because of this, but at the same time, hope that she's in a better place.

I miss the Mets. I think I'm in denial. I ask myself "who's pitching tonight?' Ay. And It's mid October.

The writing is coming along slower than I'd like but great. Ideas are just flowing like a...let me think of something that flows...like a waterfall. (Terrible) The one I'm currently doing is great because I look back when I started writing lyrics when in high school, and as far as the content goes, these are things I would've never written about back then. It just shows that the older you get, the more your mind expands and opens a whole world of brand new problems. Ha scarier ones too. I'm going to put previews up soon. I just want to have a large body of work before I do so.

If you want to be creative and get great ideas, f drugs. Take a long shower. It is the answer to all my creative ventures.

Wish me luck. Will write again sooner than later.

"TOO SICK"

I admire and appreciate Brooklyn College's extensive core curriculum. It gives the college a good reputation (take that, snobs!) I really admire it. But come the f**k on. Core Music!? This class is killing me. At this stage of my life, I'm taking crap that I don't need! Granted this is the only one this semester of its kind. The rest of my classes are pretty relevant to the line of work I wish to be in. It's just that listening to Renaissance era, Baroque era, chords, timbres. ENOUGH! I can't take it anymore! When does it end? I'm completely uninspired in a class like that. It reminds me of the beginning of my college days. I was bored to tears with a lot of the stuff I was taking and my GPA suffered. More than half the required stuff I hated. It wasn't until about 2 years ago where I became motivated and actually enjoyed learning. This is due to just taking classes I was interested in. I took a bunch of philosophy classes, TV/radio classes, production stuff, writing all genres from fiction to poems to news to sports and listening to professors that have done amazing things. It was (and still is) fun and I really wanted to do well. Imagine that. So a class like music reminds me why I found a lot of my earlier days here so mind numbing. Maybe the extensive core isn't the best idea. You need to take classes that excite you and captivate you.
My friend told me how he/she really wanted to do something in a certain field and take classes for it but a parent had advised him/her not to because the job market was scarce within that field. And I say F that. It's undergraduate school. Do what you want! If you change your mind, and want to do something more "reasonable" that's what graduate school is for. (A route that I'm not taking for now) Secondly, at least try! The sky's the limit, even in the midst of a recession. Ha I know parents look out for their children's best interest, but we can't crush dreams here. Especially since that friend is an extremely talented person. I'm impressed.

Whatever. I count the days all the time. I'm ready to move on. Even though the market is terrible. Another great friend of mine (talking about a lot of friends' stories) got let go from a job before she ever started. WTF! People need to get beat up sometimes.I'm not trying to be emo or negative or whatever the hell you want to call it, but the world is full of assholes. Chances are even your loved ones are assholes. Asshole lovers! Ha. I don't know. I just wanted to let people know how f**ked up adulthood can be. And to that friend, I want her to know that she'll bounce back, like always. She's got more balls than me, that's for sure.

I saw the movie American Beauty for the first time in years and what a great film that is. I'll admit, it's a bit over the top with its narration and the teenager storyline, but Kevin Spacey is so on his game in that one. So many new emotions were sparked in me. I really felt for the guy though he was acting completely irrational. From the surface, it's about a mid life crisis. But that would be selling the script very short. I'm not jumping the bandwagon because it's the 'cool movie' to like, similar to Eternal sunshine (which i loved way before it got popular btw!!!) I just realized after seeing it again at this point in my life, I got it this time around.

Knocked Up kicks ass though. I kid you not.

Songs!! With my Mets gone and my trips to Shea closed until April, I've been devoting plenty of time in writing. It's always there. Sometimes the ideas aren't. Not the case this time. Right now, I'm writing this song called "Sick For Thanksgiving Again" which is going to be great. I had this mild cold last Thanksgiving and I realized it had been a trend for the last few years that I had some sort of bug during the holiday so I thought I can use that idea. But of course it won't be about sneezing. Gonna artsy it up and relate it to someone who's thankful for the people in his life but lets negative feelings get in the way of his celebration. Woo! Chorus' have been easy to write. Verses are much harder though, as always.

So far I have 3 songs done. Another 3 are halfway done. So there you go with that. The speed is picking up.

Oh and f**k the Phillies. You know what, fuck the * censors. In the words of this guy that sat next to me at Shea on a July game, "FUCK DA PHILLIES!".

It never gets any less painful

This is a piece I wrote for our Shea Faithful Myspace page which consists of almot 500 Mets fans and counting,all devastated. It's just a game my ass! I feel like shit.

After attending 60 Mets games, I'm left wanting so much more.


The one win that never came...

Hi everyone.

This past week of games I've attended have been some of the darkest days I've seen at Shea. A lot of people have been comparing it to a slow death. It's hard to disagree. I always had faith that they would get that one timely hit. Or make that one big pitch. In all likely hood, that's all it would have taken for us to make post season plans. Instead, everything went against us. And I mean everything. Was it fate? To witness this 'epic collapse'? Maybe. But I don't want to get into that aspect. This is baseball. We needed to step up and we didn't. We needed to show some moxy and sadly, we didn't. So now, we're returning playoff tickets and reversing plans we made to watch them. How tragic.

Who is to blame for this? I think everyone shares that burden. The bullpen, the starters, the lineup, the front office. They all combined to hand the division to the Phillies. And that's what this division was, HANDED OVER. And that's the most disappointing way to go. I must admit, going back to that town, which I don't like to begin with, is going to be difficult to say the least. Who am I kidding? They'll be thinking about off-season Eagles news by then anyway.

You see, if a valiant effort fell short, we'd all be sad, but we'd also hold our heads up high as fans. But with the lead we had and the chances that we squandered (we'll be thinking about every one of them this winter, one at a time) it's impossible to feel at all fondly of such a heartbreaking ending.

I wrote a similar goodbye bulletin after last year's game 7 and was devastated while doing it. Now, I feel a different kind of sickness. I can't really describe it. It's a little bit of disbelief blended with the feeling of a worst fear coming to fruition.

I mean I was sitting there today, motionless with a few thousand other fans, in utter shock that this would be our last ballgame we'd attend for 6 long months.
Coldplay was blasting through the speakers. "No one ever said it was easy' were some of the lyrics. Ya think? Is it ever easy being a Mets fan. No. Nor will it ever be. Which is why we're the greatest fans in all of MLB. Sure some of them are too tough on their players, but they care more than anyone. Yes, anyone. Northeast baseball fans matter most. Where the game has ALWAYS been. And we suffer, but keep coming back.

So no more scoreboard watching. I hated that aspect, especially seeing that the Phillies beat the basement teams we couldn't. No more checking scenarios. A lot of people blame this on heart and chemistry in the clubhouse and while I'm still very hesitant to point that as a reason (pitching...) you can certainly make a better argument now that the Mets will have an early vacation.

A 7 run first inning...Unbelievable!

None of us here are front runners or fair weather fans. Just a bunch of loyal, foolish and devastated die hards. So take in that pain. Embrace the pit in your stomach. Avoid the playoffs or sports talk radio if you choose to. Change the channel when you see Steve phillips on Baseball Tonight. Make up your own solutions and reasons for the Mets demise and rest up.
God willing, next year will come before you know it and we'll do it all over again. This time, with better results.

Our season didn't come. But all we can do as a fan is hope for better days.
I'm so sad that after so many games that I've attended and watched on television, it all comes to a close. What to do till then? i suppose I'll dwell on that one more win that never came.

We love you guys. And we'll always be around, getting ready for 08. This time, with an even bigger chip on our shoulders.

Jaime